Anxiety Didn’t Stop Me/Weekly Smile

Golden Gate Bridge

Hello everyone hope all is well in your part of the world.

Yesterday I wrote that I was on my way for a day trip to San Francisco. I wasn’t sure how it would go considering I never venture 30 minutes past my house. But I did it!!!

Yesterday morning I woke up feeling great. I found that a little strange since I was about to head out on our day trip. Usually my nerves and anxiety are extremely high causing me to back out of whatever I have planned. But yesterday was different, I felt good. Almost too good.

I kept thinking about how great I was feeling, and in the back of my mind I was wondering if it was to good to be true. For a brief moment I let my mind tell me the reason I felt so good was because a panic attack was coming. Thats usually how it goes, when I am feeling good a panic attack makes it’s ugly appearance.

But this time I didn’t let those thoughts consume my mind. I somehow dismissed it, and for some reason those thoughts left me alone. I don’t know how or why, but I am so happy it did.

I was able to enjoy the whole day with my family. We had so much fun. The best part was I finally took my youngest son to San Francisco, something he has been wanting to do for so long. I didn’t let my anxiety take over and stop me. Now isn’t that something worth smiling about?

Head on over to Trent’s page for more details about The Weekly Smile and to read why others have a smile on their faces. 😀 😊

I never know when anxiety or a panic attack is coming. When it does come, I won’t leave my house for a couple of days because I am terrified of it happening again. I also don’t know if I will be able to venture far from home anytime soon again, but for the first time in a long time I am extremely hopeful.

Have a fantastic day,



Checking In/Weekly Smile

Hello everyone hope you had a wonderful week. I know this is a little late but I wanted to post and fill you in on how I spent my Christmas. It was much busier than usual, but it was actually just what I needed.

Christmas Eve I went to my oldest son’s house. We ate and exchanged gifts. I had such a great time.

Christmas morning I woke up extra early so I could watch my youngest son opened his gifts. I loved seeing the excitement on his face when he received the gifts that he really wanted.

Later on Christmas morning we went to my parent’s house, where we did some eating and gift exchanging. I had an awesome time there.

Next stop was to my aunt’s house where I got to visit with more family members, some I haven’t seen in a couple years because of covid.  It was wonderful getting to catch up with everyone.

Monday night we went to my middle son’s house, ate dinner, and exchanged gifts. Lots of fun.

It was a busy few days but it was something that I very much needed.  Spending time with my family is something that I always enjoy. 

I smiled so much during our Christmas gatherings. There was a moment when I was sitting at my aunts house where I could feel my anxiety creeping in.  There were a lot of people there. But as I sat there looking from one person to the next, I realized something. I realized how blessed I am to have family and how blessed I am that every single one of them loves me. Every single person that I spent Christmas with, loves me. Wow, now isn’t that something to smile about?  I sure think so.

Head on over to Trent’s page for more on the Weekly Smile

Weekly Smile and A Frozen Cupcake

Hello everyone hope your Monday morning is going smoothly.

We have had some really warm weather this summer, but the past two days has been cloudy with a few sprinkles. I am really hoping for a down pour today because we really need it. Plus I love the rain.

Yesterday I was at my parents house for “Spaghetti Sunday”. I was really enjoying myself, chowing down on a big plate of spaghetti, and enjoying some adult conversation while the teenagers were off playing a game. Then out of nowhere, that feeling that I have gone to recognize and despise, started creeping slowly in my body.

I know that feeling almost before it starts. A strange sensation that starts in my stomach and spreads throughout my body. As I am looking at my mom I began to feel like I am dreaming and not really there.

The experts say that is a common feeling when one is experiencing a panic attack.

It was just me and my parents at the table. It was quiet, I was relaxed, I was in a great mood. So why the panic?

I left the table and went into the laundry room to finish up my laundry, hoping to distract myself. Yes I am 52 years old and brought my dirty laundry to my parents house. Haha. (My washer recently broke)

My mom follows me and I explain that I was started to feel off and just needed to be alone for a minute.

She tells me to go relax in the backyard, so I did. I sat there convincing myself I was ok. I did not want to have one of my bad panic attacks there. My mom worries, and I did not want to worry her.

I sat, enjoying the cold, cloudy weather, and I breathed. I sat, closed my eyes, did some mental grounding, and breathed. For some reason this attack just lingered, without getting worse.

Somehow it passed. It did not go into a full attack. I was lucky this time. Sometimes it will pass before it gets worse, but usually it gets worse before it will pass.

After a while I went back inside. I sat down in the living room and watched TV. My mom brought me and the teenagers a cupcake. Yes, a cupcake. When I am recovering from anxiety or a panic attack, the only thing I usually want is water.

But I bit into the frozen cupcake, oh yea, did I forget to mention the frozen part? Anyway I bit into the frozen cupcake and it was really really good. It was like an ice-cream cupcake haha.

So what made me smile? My moeder (Dutch for mother) her frozen cupcake, and for making me feel better. My mom reads my posts so thank you Moeder. 🙂

Head on over to Trent’s page for more about the weekly smile .

Have a wonderful day

Weekly Smile

Hello world and thank you for taking the time to stop by. 

So this morning I woke up, made my coffee, and tried to catch up on some reading. I lost track of time and next thing I knew hours had passed by. I do think I am addicted to WordPress, but its not my fault. It’s all those talented writers that I can’t seem to get enough of. 😁

I may have mentioned before but twice a month my family gets together for “Spaghetti Sunday” at my parents house. Well it also happened to be my moms birthday so we had a “Moms Birthday/Spaghetti Sunday” day.

I don’t have a huge family but we are still a pretty good size. It was really nice getting together with everyone and celebrating my moms special day.

The kids are all grown and are busy with life, so being able to sit around the table and hear about the things going on in their lives was really nice. I am so proud of my boys, and when I say my boys I mean my sons and my nephews. They are all hard working, honest young men. I am such a proud momma/auntie. 😁

So what made me smile? My family made me smile. Sitting around the dining table, catching up, reminiscing about past events, and laughing with family.

Hope everyone has a fantastic week and don’t forget to take a moment to smile.

Weekly Smile/ Check-In

Hello everyone, I hope you are all doing well and enjoying your day.

We are having some cooler weather, which is great news for me. Last week the temperatures were a little warm, I am going to enjoy the cooler days now because I know hotter days are just around the corner.

I have my windows open and I am letting the fresh breeze flow through my apartment. It feels really nice, but, now maybe its just because I am old, but have you noticed that more and more cars are getting louder? I mean really loud.

They are loud by the owners choice. People are now taking their cars into a shop to have some kind of work done to make it loud. Very very loud. Does anyone own one that wouldn’t mind explaining to me what the big hoopla is about owning these loud cars? What am I missing? Back in my day we had “hot rods” or “muscle cars” that were a little loud but they sounded good. When you revved the engine it made a cool “ruumbbbummmbumm” sound. Kind of hard to spell out a sound but you can kinda get an idea of what I’m describing. Haha. And also back in my day, if a car was too loud, you would get pulled over, it was illegal to drive it that loud. So have things changed since my day? Can someone explain this to me?

Besides listening to the cars go by I also took some time to tinker with my outdoor plants. There’s just something about tinkering with my plants that I find so relaxing.

Speaking of plants, I was visiting my mom a few days ago and she showed me some flowers that she bought last year. You know the kind you buy that are in a package of 6 or maybe it’s 8? Well only about 4 took off and bloomed that year, the other two did nothing. According to Google, the ones that originally bloomed are called “Hollyhawks”.

This is the flower that bloomed. Google says these are “Hollyhawks”


The flowers that didn’t bloom decided to bloom this year. However, it is not the same flower. Now remember they all came from the same container/packaging. The ones this year look and smell just like carnations. They started off looking like the other flowers, but when they bloomed, they were not the same. Look at the following pictures.

These recently bloomed. Google also says these are called Hollyhawks.

Have you ever seen carnations grow straight up about 7 ft like the picture above? According to Google, these are also called “Hollyhawks”, but I still say its carnations. Anyway, whatever they are, they look and smell beautiful.

My week finished off with my grandson’s 6th birthday party. I almost didn’t go, almost let my anxiety keep me home and keep me from enjoying a day with my family. Almost

But I went, and I had a great time. All my boys were there. All my boys, meaning my adult sons and adult nephews. It’s not very often they are all together at the same time.

My son rented a huge “bouncy house” water slide for the kids to play on. They all had such a fun time. I couldn’t help but keep a smile on my face as I watched the kiddos playing.

My smile turned into laughter when the adult kids decided to play on the bouncy house. I couldn’t stop laughing, it was hilarious watching them act like children, laughing and competing with eachother.

I can’t remember the last time I laughed that hard. It brought back wonderful memories of when they were children, acting the same way. They were very close growing up and are even closer as adults. Its nice to see them grow up and become best friends. I have a huge proud smile even as I write this.

I have so many days when my anxiety acts up and keeps me scared and unable to leave my home. So many days when my ocd keeps me busy, tired, and stressed, unable to go out and do anything. But I also have my good days. Good days when I am able to fight, stand strong, and power through. I know I still have a long way to go, but at least I am heading in the right direction.

So there it is, my Weekly Smile How was your week? Anything make you smile or laugh?