I have had ocd since I was around 13, I am now 51. The doctor actually diagnosed me with severe ocd. Severe sounds so severe. But it doesn’t stop there, I also have horrible panic attacks and anxiety. Living with these mental illnesses is not easy.
My mind is never quiet. It is always thinking, worrying, and stressing. The ocd thoughts are constantly terrorizing my mind. All the “what if’s” that float threw my brain can make life difficult. If I am not physically exhausted then I am mentally.
When I was in my 40s, and tired of the many years of suffering with this horrible illness, I finally decided to get professional help. Along with getting help, I also decided to do my own research. I wanted to learn as much as I could about the illnesses that made my life difficult.
For years now I have been researching more and more about mental illnesses. I read, read, and read, hoping to learn whatever I can to educate myself, in hopes that I can apply what I have learned so I can lead a happier, healthier life.
When I sit and think about where I am now compared to a few years ago, I see how far I have come. I have actually come a long way. Sometimes its easy to forget how far I have come because I do still suffer and I do still have alot of bad days. Those bad days have a way of making me forget about my progress.
I forget about the obstacles I have overcome. I forget about the goals and the victories that I have successfully made. It’s easy to forget when you are still suffering. But…..
This month I am taking the time to remember. I am reminding myself how much I have accomplished. I am remembering the goals and victories I have reached and am continuing to reach. I am able to do things today that I wasn’t able to do a year ago. Wow, just saying that makes me smile and gives me hope.
I have hope. I have hope that my life will continue to improve. I have hope that I will continue to learn how to live a happier life, even while still suffering with mental illnesses. Hope that one day I will be able to get through my day without “giving in” to my ocd. I have hope that one day I will be able to say I have ocd, not severe ocd. I have hope that everything will be okay, and hope that I will be okay.
May is mental health awareness month. Let’s continue to bring awareness on mental health issues. Let’s continue to be there and help others that might be suffering alone. We need to not be embarrassed or scared to admit we have a mental illness. Together we can find hope, hope for a better tomorrow, and hope for a happier life.
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental illness, please Reach Out,Speak Up, And Ask For Help. Nobody should go through it alone.
Our Mental Health Matters